At the time of my motherlands greatest market recovery an undergrad student, never sleep deprived genius, keen observer, ultimate dreamer and most importantly a true and loyal friend was strangled to death here because he had the misfortune to have loved his love well.
But….But….even though every above mentioned qualities of his died, he survived just for the sake of his dependant counterparts.
Here in his own words
“The man who has never been in the clutches of that crushing viper can never know what its poison is. An attempt to study it in any other way will result only in superficial talk & sentimental delusions. Both are harmful. The first because it can never go to the root of the question second because it evades the question entirely.
I was protected against the temptation to study the question the way just mentioned, for the simple reason that I was forced to live it. Therefore it was not a question of studying the problem objectively, but rather one of testing its effect on myself. Though the rabbit came through the ordeal of the experiment, this must not be taken as the evidence of its harmlessness.
When I try today to recall the succession of impressions received during that time I find that I can do so only with approximate completeness except for experiencing the same pain. Here I shall consider only the more essential impressions and those which personally affected me and often staggered me and I shall quote the few lesions I then learned from this experience.
I'm waiting for a day when I can say "the Goddess of fate clutched me in her hands and often threatened to smash me but the will grew stronger as the obstacles increased and finally the will thriumphed"
Hope that day comes.”
Here is a piece of his note which I got and could read in spite of his AWESOME handwriting and was permitted to post here:
The body appeared to grow accustomed to the vicissitudes of food & hunger eating heartily in good times & going hungry in bad. Indeed sadness shatters all plans for forgetting the fact in better times when hope is again found. The reason for this is that the deprivations which the person has to endured must be compensated for psychologically by a persistent mental mirage in which he imagines himself living happily once again. And this dream develops into such a longing that it turns into a morbid impulse to cast off all self-restraint when she turns up again.
S U r close fren of who used 2 b here...He no more is the ruler of the Reich...He stays down there feeling things where the next possible thing to not feel is to being DEAD...wish he were......